12th - Remembering Dad !

A Letter to my APPA, remembering him / missing him forever.

( I wish i could write this in Tamil , but you know i'm terrible at it .)

Appa,

             It has been more than two decades ago, too young, when walking down life would have felt scary and hard, you made it so easy pa. ( Even if there where tons of hands stretching out to me, it would still be you i would want to hold to )

             Schools are very little i can remember,( Except for all that thrashes i would get from ma - I would badly want to put ma in jail and stay only with you ). Pa, I still remember the early morning i would sit up on your shoulders / wrapping my arms around your neck, exactly where i loved to be , the very few days i would lie on your chest and you would talk to me. I soo wish i could have a few more of those days pa.

           In a society like here, where people are , " Tell me who your dad is ? and i will tell you who you are ", you have been my identity all through my life. You have been the hero. You were not the one who taught me how to live a life; you lived and you let me watch you do it for all the little time i was around you. For all that i wish is, i had a little more time.

          I know you had a very tough time for the last one year in bed, i really was a kid, but i still can remember the pain you went through and still maintain your composure. I wished to have talked to you pa, at least for one last time, i still believe that would have changed a lot.

          Exactly 12 Years ago, you where gone, I didn't believe, but when i knew it myself, i hated you for that. I knew i didn't have you for feeding me the apple every night. I felt defeated. I wish it hurt me that day, it didn't. It took some weeks to settle. It started piercing me then. Now, I might be 27, but still my appa is gone and it has been hurting ever since.

          The wisdom of age and time has taught me to accept reality. Even after you are gone, your love lingers in my heart. I Miss You and Will love you for ever pa.


Lots n Lots of Luv
Chxxxxxx